Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
