That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
