You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
