I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
