the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
