I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
