she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
