bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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