those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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