She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
