Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
