Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
