Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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