Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
