He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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