If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
it's like heaven, but drunker
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
