i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
