I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
