I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
