If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
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we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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