Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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