woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
