The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
