Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
