If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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