Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
