It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
