he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
