I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
