I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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