508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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