Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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