8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the condom got lost in my hair
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
