So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize