Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
