you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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