he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
