The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
