I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
