he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
