I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I would fuck him just for his dog
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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