I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
