i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God