I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"