you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Edward fifth and chaser hands
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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