if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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