Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
