Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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