P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We got so high we made milksteak
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize