I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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