they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
