You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
