So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
