I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just had sex bonerless
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
