it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
