Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize