it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
