Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
