I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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