You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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