I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
