I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beers last night were like the tears from god
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize