I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
pop tarts are not kleenex
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
This beer is not sobering me up at all
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
