Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
