I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
