I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize